Closure . . .

This is a post I have put off, not really sure whether I wanted to  post about it or not . . . please bear with me on some very personal thoughts.

The last few weeks have been just full of emotion, of thoughts and feelings that I thought had been long buried and forgotten.

My youngest brother, who, for reasons of his own, was not close to our family, was diagnosed with pancreatic and liver cancer, about 2 months ago, he was only 52 years old.  He didn't live nearby, so no one really saw him or really knew how serious his condition was, or how sick he was.  In fact, I don't think anyone had seen him for at least 5 maybe 6 years.  After his diagnosis, my older sister would talk to him every other day or so, and we would find out how he was doing.  On May 20th, I received a phone call from my older brother, letting me know that my brother was in the ICU, and that his situation was very serious, and that he was not expected to live through the night, that he and my older sister were going to go and be with him and his daughter at the hospital.  He passed away later that night, his body ravaged with cancer.

I had a very rocky relationship with this brother - he really disliked me!  I won't go into details, because it's not important now, but he felt like I ruined his life, when I was actually trying to help him.  I have not had the same reaction to his death as my other siblings.  I have not felt that "sting" of death, or that deep sadness.   He lived a very sad life, full of bad decisions, and consequences, so for me, his death was a blessing, because I truly feel like there were just things in this life that were holding him back from being the person that he wanted to be - he will be able to progress and heal on the other side, we have been promised that, by a loving Father in Heaven, who knows us, and loves us, and is anxiously waiting for us to return to him.

I have had a chance to examine my feelings for my brother, and my heart has softened somewhat.  I will choose to remember him as a child - full of energy, full of life, full of love.  I will choose to think of him with kind thoughts and good memories, of good times we had together and fun times.

His daughter had him cremated, so my mother, who is unable to travel, did not get a chance to see him for the last time, and find the closure that she so desperately needs and wants. We are having a memorial service for him this coming Saturday, and hopefully my mother can find some peace and closure.  I found closure many years ago.  My faith is strong, and I know that he is in a better place, with family and loved ones who are comforting him and loving him . . . I know that I will see him again, and it will be a happy reunion. Good-bye little brother . . . until we meet again . . .

 Mark Howard Taylor 1962 - 2014

. . . Why should I be out of mind, because I am out of sight?  I am but waiting for you, for an interval.  Somewhere.  Very near.  Just around the corner.  All is well.

~Henry Scott Holland~

Hugs,

Thoughtful Spot Sunday . . .

My mother-in-law's battle with cancer is finally over.  She passed away, very peacefully, on her 83rd birthday, January 14, 2012, surrounded by her family.

I love the sculpture in the picture above.  It is called, "Come Unto Me", and was sculpted by Jerry Anderson.  It's such a beautiful depiction of an old woman going through the veil, and passing through as a young woman, ready to meet the Savior and those who have been waiting for her.  It sits in the Spilsbury Mortuary, in St. George, Utah.  I think it is so appropriate for my mother-in-law.  I know that there was certainly a happy reunion when she passed!

I love this beautiful song, written by Pres. Gordon B. Hinkley, and sung at his funeral.  The music was written by Janice Kapp Perry, and is sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  (Don't forget to pause my music).

What is this Thing that Men Call Death

What is this thing that men call death,
This quiet passing in the night?
‘Tis not the end, but genesis
Of better worlds and greater light.

O God, touch thou my aching heart,
And calm my troubled, haunting fears.
Let hope and faith, transcendent pure,
Give strength and peace beyond my tears.

There is no death, but only change
With recompense for victory won;
The gift of Him who loved all men,
The Son of God, the Holy One.

Thanks again for all of the prayers and love that was sent to me at this very difficult time.

Many Warm Hugs,

Comments have been turned off for Sunday.