Thursday, February 25, 2010

Outhouse Blues . . .

What a day!  My husband stayed home from work today,  no particular reason, just because he needed a day off, to rest and relax, catch up on things around the house . . .HA!  He went downstairs to do something, who knows what, but found a puddle, where there should have been carpet!  The septic tank had backed up!!  Dread!  Sooooooooo . . . we had the septic tank pumped - that did not fix the problem, so we had to have a "snake" put down the pipe to see if that might be the problem - something STUCK down there, and sure enough - something was STUCK (I don't want to know what it was)!!  But, the problem was fixed,. and I'm so glad that my husband decided not to go to work today! 

I am beginning to see the wisdom in outhouses - when they get full, just move them, and if they get to stinky, burn them!  They never get things STUCK in them, and heaven knows, they could not smell any worse than the smell that has inundated my whole yard, and the inside of my house!  It was not enough to have stinky sewer water all over the floor - the smell had to permeate the whole house!  But we got through it . . . ahhhh.  Carpets cleaned, fans blowing . . .

The up side - we have been wanting to re-do the bathroom in the basement, so this was the perfect opportunity.  We ripped the carpet out, which was wonderful in it's self, because it was old and disgusting, now, we just have to wait for everything else to dry out so we can start that project!   We also took out some carpet that was in another room where the drain in the floor was . . . much better!  Hopefully, we will have a good week-end, with no more sewer dilemma!   

Now, back to the outhouse issue, by the time this was all said and done, I needed an outhouse!  You don't realize how much you depend on indoor plumbing, until you can't use it!

Now it just would not be right if I didn't leave you with a little outhouse humor - happy reading!

The outhouse

The service station trade was slow
The owner sat around, 
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.

"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.

With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet-red face
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car
Just like three gals before.

She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
The owner gave a shout.
As her silk stockings, down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.

She tripped and fell - got up, and then
In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner knew.

A speaking system he'd devised,
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish tyke
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.

And as she sat, a voice below
Struck terror, fright and fear,
"Will you please use the other hole,
We're painting under here!"



  1. Akkk, I feel for you, I really do. Clarice

  2. OoOoh I feel for you - had the EXACT same thing happen a few weeks back and it was a 40 degree stinking (in so many ways) hot day......

  3. Oh I sorry...It can be a daunting mess, I know by experience!
    My grandparents lived in Ucon when I was small and I would go and stay with them in the summers and they only had an outhouse! Grandma finally put a pot in the bedroom for my sister and I t night. (This was during the 60's!) Oh, beautiful memories.
    Good luck with your redo! ~♥

  4. Ugh, that is no fun at all. At least some good will come of it though.
    That story was too funny!!
    Love, Laura

  5. So sorry you had a mess to clean up, but don't you feel that sometimes, just sometimes, these things happen for a reason? You did get the old carpet ripped out. ;)

    Oh, yes. There were many times not so many years ago when we were mighty glad for the outhouse - black widow spiders and all.

    Cute poem! Thanks for sharing.

  6. Oh my goodness. You should have called. I could have helped some how. That poem is way to cute. I hope all is well and you can have a great weekend. Love you, Karen

  7. Thanks for the sympathy everyone! Have a great week-end all!

    Kimmie - So sorry this had to happen to you! I'm just glad it was only 30 degrees here!

    Beth - Who were your grandparent's? My husband was raised in the Ucon/Milo area? And yes, I too remember outhouses, quite well! Thank goodness for indoor plumbing!

    Cindy-Sue - I'm sure it was not an coincidence that Bob stayed home yesterday! Now we can start on that much needed re-do! I hated outhouses, mostly because of the spiders and creepy things, but I'm sure glad we had them!

    Laura - Yes, something good did come of it - can't wait to get started!

    Karen - There was not one thing anyone could do but plug their nose!! Thanks for asking though.

  8. Who can beat this, for a Sat. post?!?


  9. Aunt Amelia - It was pretty awful - I don't even want to try to beat it!

  10. Hi Barb,
    So sorry about the sewer problems....nothing worse than that! It's good that it gives you an opportunity to fix up the bathroom. :o)

    I hope you are having a good weekend! (The poem was cute.)


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